Tips on Meeting New People
Little did I know I would deal with a Narcissist.
I was burned big time a couple of years ago when I met a young man, a store clerk, who immediately showed me his open personality, great sense of humor, and musical talent. He was a musician working part time at the store. It was at a time when I needed to do something impulsive, to take a chance and shake myself out of spending weekends alone. I deserved it. The usual happened – a couple of phone calls and then dates. One night he sang a romantic song to me under my bedroom window! It sounds corny, but it felt like we were in a romantic movie. It turned out to be a horror film.
“Affair with the Divine” is the memoir ebook you can download here. It tells the story of what happened and how and why it happened when I opened myself up to raising my perceptions.
I take the psychic, spiritual side of my life seriously, but sometimes I forget to “ground myself” while I’m “lifting myself up” by attracting new experiences. (The blog before this one is about positive attraction.) Maybe this page will help you consider how to protect yourself from wasting your time on people who want to take your positive energy away. Or worse.
I have met a lot of people who call everyone they’ve talked to more than once, a friend. And I’ve overheard new acquaintances of mine on their mobile phones greet and talk to all personal callers in exactly the same way they talk to me, same tone of voice, same level of “sharing.” For me, that’s not good enough. I think deep down we all know that friendship and love are emotions that are carried through a committed relationship of any kind. Falling in love is another thing altogether. The rush we get when we’re swept off our feet isn’t really a feeling, it’s species body chemistry designed to find someone whose genes are compatible in order to create stronger children. It’s basic science that’s basic to humans and many other species. That euphoric rush that arrives with falling in love should be considered a recreational drug 🙂 to be recognized and treated that way. It is what I forgot to do. I made a mistake with this guy. And because I want to honor people’s efforts I gave him several chances to clean up his act. I paid for it, but at the same time I learned to take my time when I meet someone, and carefully listen and watch instead of talking and doing even though someone appears to be genuinely interesting and exciting. Think about it, is your talking and doing your attempt at being someone you’re not?
There is a lot of information coming out about the good number of Narcissists out there. Their confused reality has been more clearly recognized and defined in the past few years. They are very talented con-artists like the man I met; they can instantly size you up and turn themselves into a person who seems perfect, who can provide you with what you’ve always wanted. It may be too good to be true. He or she will completely change as soon as you’re “hooked.” A Narcissist’s agenda is to create a close relationship so they can brainwash you, eventually destroy you. And we cannot change them. They’re too far gone and sadly, will probably never change.
So what do we do when we rightfully choose to “take our time”? Back to acquaintance vs. friend. I think it’s a simple answer, it’s what I learned works best for me, anyway. It’s a simple idea, but not easy to do. The answer is to keep being who we are, doing the same things we do. Stay grounded within yourself not make that person the major focus. Sure, add him or her into your life’s activities, but also watch to see if they add YOU to theirs. Wait long enough to meet other people they spend time with. Do they act like real friends? Try not to share your deep feelings right away. If you have met a Narcissist, that’s the worse thing you can do. Then they’ll know how to deeply manipulate you. In other words, before you can trust someone to be among your friends, be sure you are happy when you’re with them, not occupied with “working out problems” that you’re accused of causing. It’s a telltale sign of caution! in the beginning. If you make a mistake like I did, and realize you are losing track of your own feelings..RUN! Your thoughts and emotions and spirit are very important to your health along with taking care of your body – in case you’ve been wondering what Holistic Health really means.
If you would would like some links to websites that help you recognize a Narcissist before it’s too late, post a comment here or email me.